Friday, April 29, 2016
Monday, April 25, 2016
Monday, April 18, 2016
Why In The World Am I Living For Other People?
Hey there my lovely readers,
I am back with another topic that I deem necessary in my current status of life. I know that it has been a few weeks,,,maybe even months since I've posted another piece to the puzzle of this blog but you know me, if I know that I am not putting my 150% into it then I will NOT post it. Anywho, let us get to the topic at hand shall we?
So I am definitely getting use to the fact of the matter that my life is like a snow globe. As a believer, getting comfortable with your current life (and expecting it to remain that comfortable) is like playing a sick prank on your own self. As believers in Christ, we know that there is a time and a place for everything (just check out Ecclesiastes) and because of that, we know that our constant focus should be on the One who remains constant, Jesus Christ. Otherwise, it would be like us running around trying to catch a unicorn....the Unicorn of The Perfect Life.
My life is constantly changing and slowly but surely, I am becoming more aware and more okay with that lifestyle. But you see lately, my life has been changing a lot in ways of my own doing and frankly, I am so over it.
Prime example, my weekends. What's that???? I haven't a clue. What in the world is a weekend and how do I get one of those???? Yes, the beautiful weekends that those who work Mon - Fri grow to fall in love with. Its such a delicacy where you can stay up late Friday because you know you have Saturday to sleep in. Well my weekends now, have somehow become another Unicorn that, it seems, I am trying to catch now.
Whenever I would tell my mom that all I want to do is just stay home on the weekends, that woman laughs at me, gives me that "girl stop lying" face and instead just says, "Hmmmmm". She doesn't believe me but it's so the truth. Yet somehow, a fresh year filled with opportunity and adventure turns into a overloaded itinerary EVERY SINGLE TIME. I already know, a lot of you would ask:
I am back with another topic that I deem necessary in my current status of life. I know that it has been a few weeks,,,maybe even months since I've posted another piece to the puzzle of this blog but you know me, if I know that I am not putting my 150% into it then I will NOT post it. Anywho, let us get to the topic at hand shall we?
So I am definitely getting use to the fact of the matter that my life is like a snow globe. As a believer, getting comfortable with your current life (and expecting it to remain that comfortable) is like playing a sick prank on your own self. As believers in Christ, we know that there is a time and a place for everything (just check out Ecclesiastes) and because of that, we know that our constant focus should be on the One who remains constant, Jesus Christ. Otherwise, it would be like us running around trying to catch a unicorn....the Unicorn of The Perfect Life.
My life is constantly changing and slowly but surely, I am becoming more aware and more okay with that lifestyle. But you see lately, my life has been changing a lot in ways of my own doing and frankly, I am so over it.
Prime example, my weekends. What's that???? I haven't a clue. What in the world is a weekend and how do I get one of those???? Yes, the beautiful weekends that those who work Mon - Fri grow to fall in love with. Its such a delicacy where you can stay up late Friday because you know you have Saturday to sleep in. Well my weekends now, have somehow become another Unicorn that, it seems, I am trying to catch now.
Whenever I would tell my mom that all I want to do is just stay home on the weekends, that woman laughs at me, gives me that "girl stop lying" face and instead just says, "Hmmmmm". She doesn't believe me but it's so the truth. Yet somehow, a fresh year filled with opportunity and adventure turns into a overloaded itinerary EVERY SINGLE TIME. I already know, a lot of you would ask:
"Mahalia, why don't you stop agreeing to do stuff?"
"Why don't you just ignore people?"
"Why do you keep saying yes???"
All amazing questions, I usually don't say yes to everything ( I can actually be quite lazy). Usually, the few things I do say yes to just finds its way on weekends sequentially. Now let me be clear, I don't mind hanging out with friends...seeing family...etc..but when it starts to take place almost every weekend for a few months straight then I know it's time to change somethings around, yet again.
Recently, I had to ask myself, "Why am I doing all of this? Do I not find it all enjoyable?" Well I had to be honest with myself, first off I know myself. I am an extroverted introvert (and thats a whole notha' blog). Anyways, I can be very social when I need to be but I gain all my energy from going home to a nice comfy bed ready to netflix & chill with my bed. I don't gain my energy by being around people, in fact, if I stay around people for too long, I start to get rude. ---Just being honest lol.
I love my quiet time to think and read, or watch a movie or to write.
So, why do I do this then? I don't like letting people down. If I can support someone, I try my best to because to have friends you must first be friendly. I know that I can't always stay cooped up at home with the arms of my bed around me. For one. my bed does not pay my bills lol. So I have to make sure that I keep things in perspective. Other people's feelings matter to me and I choose to night ignore it.
The problem comes in when people take that for granted, they expect you to be there because you always has and sometimes even ignore that you have feelings too. That's such a huge no no for me. Then you have to teach people, believe it or not. how to treat you. I don't mind having a heart of compassion and understanding when it comes to others and especially my love ones but even those I love sometimes have to be shown that I am not living for them.
Sometimes we find ourselves living for others and don't even know it. Sometimes by the time we figure it out, it's too late. So when you decide to take your life back, people will definitely look at you like you are crazy. They may even have the nerve to get mad because you decided to make a healthy choice for your life and not be so available. So be prepared, because it's coming. People may even call you selfish and completely forget about all of the other times you have been supportive. Be prepared for that too.
Please know that living a healthy life requires boundaries and those that truly love you will either understand that or move aside. A balanced life is a healthy life and although life is rarely balanced, aiming towards it can be just as great.
Please know that living a healthy life requires boundaries and those that truly love you will either understand that or move aside. A balanced life is a healthy life and although life is rarely balanced, aiming towards it can be just as great.
Trust God and let live!
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