I Am Such A Liar...To Myself :(

This really wasn't meant to be a long blog post but I have to spill the beans on myself.

I am a liar. Not like a compulsive liar, but one of those liars who says she is going to do this and that and then get distracted by other things in life and never finish what she started in the first place. When it comes to goals, I let myself down alot more than I let others down because I know the achievements I want to accomplish and often times I let life happen and lies happen to myself as well.

It is truly a bad habit and if I can't be honest with myself (or my lovely readers) who can I be honest with? I've been this way since I could remember. Even in college, I lost motivation many of times because I just allowed myself to get distracted by other things.

I sucked at staying focused. There have been countless of times where I have started things in my life...great ideas btw...but still unfinished. So who's to say that my life would have been going in a different direction had I stayed the coarse and remained focused?

Trust me when I say, we all have our flaws. I believe that mines definitely have alot to do with just sticking to my guns, and not allowing anything to distract me from my goals. They say (whoever "they" are) the first step to letting go of an addiction is admitting you have a problem soooooo here we go.......

I Get DISTRACTED 

EASILY.......

Maybe by me actually taking a chance with my pride & ego and actually saying it out loud it will actually help me pull up my big girl pants and really move forward in my goals. It's all a work in progress....

A few things I have learned so far about myself is that, I AM THE REASON FOR ME BEING WHERE I AM. YES, I pray. YES, I aim to keep God in all of my decisions. YES, I stay having goals and aspirations but as it says in the Bible -  "Faith WITHOUT Works Is DEAD" (James 2:17). This basically means that Mahalia cannot just pray that the Lord sees her through without taking steps in faith towards that direction. I have to invest! And honestly, I have struggled for a long time with really staying the coarse. Not because I didn't believe I couldn't do it but because I can just be plain old lazy.

Sometimes I think that when I was younger, my low self esteem catered to my laziness. You know that way of thinking like, "well I can't do this anyways...so why even try. Might as well stop while I am ahead." Sometimes we allow ourselves to murder our own potential and futures by simply speaking death and negativity over our own lives. 

I mean, WHO NEEDS HATERS ANYWAYS WHEN YOU HAVE YOURSELF, RIGHT?

Self esteem is so essential to our futures and maybe if I didn't think so lowly of myself I would have been on stage right now instead of behind a desk. My life would probably have very well gone in a different directions but the great thing is that even with our slip ups, God has a Plan B, C, D....... and Z if we allow Him to have His Way in our lives. 

At this moment, I have a $300 piano sitting on my desk that I have turned on only to allow my nephew to play on. The amazing thing is that, when I prayed to God to provide me with avenues to polish my talents in what I am passionate for, He almost instantly opens a door for that to happen (as He did with this piano). Now, the next move is up to me. Will I take initiative to learn how to play it or will I let it collect dust? Will I continue to post on this blog, regardless of how many views I get or will I give up? Will I keep going hard for better quality of footage for my YouTube page or will I get distracted and give up?

We all have choices to make, in the words of my middle school math teacher, Mr. Hughes. We all have choices no matter what. That is the perk of having Free Will in this life but what will you choose?

I can not say that I will become Mozart on that piano tomorrow but what I can say is that I am in the way of my own success and admitting it to you all is a start but it's that step after admitting the problem that really matters. And I am so tired of lying to myself....Mahalia girl, it is time to change things up or stay chasing opportunities.

What opportunities are you steady chasing? Please, don't feel alone or embarrassed. We can admit our problems together LOL...HOWEVER, since tomorrow is not promised - what can we do today?

#ItsTime

Why I Chose NOT to Do Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships can be so over rated.....

My first taste of the long distance entree was anything but appetizing. It just did not work for me. I was not receiving what I needed. I often times felt so alone that even when I thought I was in a relationship, half the time I felt awkward saying I was out loud.

It just did not work for me. I tried it because I was in love. And well....love conquers all right? At least it's suppose to. But then what happens when it doesn't?

There is a such thing as truly loving someone who doesn't love you. And no, I do not mean loving a figment of who you think or would dream of that person to be. I mean truly seeing their highs and lows, grimy disfigured flaws and loving it all. That's where I was when I first took part of this weighty, yet unstable business venture I labeled as a long distance relationship.

Love will make you do some crazy..... OUT RIGHT STUPID...things. However....

I felt that I could trust this person who I laid my heart out for. So I took the crazy chance of giving it a shot. I now understand that a key factor in long distance relationships is TRUST. You have to have it before even finalizing the agreement of a long distance relationship. I mean come on, a long distance relationship is like the stock market. You have no control. You really have no logical facts. You just hope and pray that eventually things will work out in your favor.

Honestly, I had not one doubt in my mind that it would not work out. (And to this day, I will never know where that amount of confidence came from lol). I just knew that because I was trustworthy so was my counterpart. It's crazy, its as if I made a comfort zone within my ignorance. Things weren't completely reliable. Communication was almost none existent and well, I was in a relationship with myself really.

Well, once everything hit the fan, feelings were presented on the table like a fine 6-course meal (wine included of course, only the finest, most exquisite crazy) and once I got tired of the roller coaster of what I thought was an okay relationship I finally decided that after this, I was totally done with long distance relationships.

As if my loneliness wasn't enough, I soon learned that a few things were thrown out the window long before I got fed up, like fidelity, honesty, and respect. Y'all, I found out a lot was going on behind my back, while I was praying and believing that God would make a way.  So much that Mahalia never out rightly signed up for. So you bets believe, Mahalia was over the fairy tale of what's labeled as a long distance relationship and I told myself that I wasn't playing that game anymore. The scars hurt too much, my heart was bruised, and my brain was sooooo tired.

Well do you know that God's sense of humor is unlike anyone else's?

Not long after making that vow to myself, I ended up meeting a man after my own heart. Here's the kicker, he was a year after me meaning that once again, I would have to meet the face of the beast once again, a long distance relationship. Everything was so perfect but as the months got closer to me graduating, my fears were trying to graduate with me as well.

I could not do it.

But I loved him.

So what do I do?

Well let me tell you what key thing I have learned thus far. NEVER COMPARE YOUR PAST TO YOUR FUTURE. At least not in a way that is detrimental to what's to come. Learn, yes but compare, don't do that. As my fears crept up during the months leading to December 19th, my Mr. Right also reassured me that we would make it constantly. Something that did not happen with Mr. Wrong lol.

He constantly looked into my eyes, without doubt or fear and told me, "We will be okay. I'm not going anywhere." And honestly, I gained strength and confidence through his strength and confidence.

To be completely honest with you ladies and gents, whether a relationship will work out or not does not depend on the physical distance between two people. In fact, you can be right in the bed next to that person and be further than you know.

I can give you tangible ideas but at the end of the day, if a person loves you, distance will never be an excuse, YALL WILL FIND A WAY TO WORK IT OUT. So please, never allow someone to come to you and say, "long distance relationships never work out". That is a lie, look at a believer's relationship with God. Physically, we couldn't be further away, and yet He shows us new ways that He loves us daily. But He does it because HE loves us and takes the initiative to show us.

The same applies to our relationships here on Earth. If God can love us from Heaven (the ultimate long distance relationship) then we can definitely make it work here on Earth.


When it comes to relationships working out, the responsibility is not on the distance between the two but on the two people and their ability to fight for what's theirs. IF that person is not fighting, then it wasn't theirs to win in the first place. Count it all joy and keep an open heart to what's yours to have, in Jesus Name.

"Three things will last forever --faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

September 1st ....... #BORN&MADE

As I stated on my Facebook page, I wanted to give a little bit more details regarding this amazing pic! First of all...GIRL POWER! Yes, I so said it! This initiative is a movement and a community of women coming together to uplift one another and to push one another to their highest potential. It is our responsibility to love ourselves and in turn free another sister to love herself. 

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he always would joke about me being a feminist. Yes! A feminist because I simply don't take stupidity thrown at me especially from those of the opposite sex. I just don't handle it well lol. Many times, we as women have to always be understanding without never being understood. We always have to be empathetic and apologetic for having tough skin, the same tough skin that only developed because of the manifestation of ideas of what a woman should be that surrounded us. 

My mommy taught me to keep God first, be strong and to always love myself. And I can not lie, when I was younger (before puberty & some time after) I would always doubt myself and although I was young and very wet behind the years, I have grown to regret that way of thinking now. 

If I was then who I am now, I probably would have excelled a lot further with my passions and I probably wouldn't be working where I am working, might not have even gone to the college I know and love. Eeeeeh but life happens, and its really no need to regret where you are because you are where you were meant to be ultimately.

For more information check out the website: www.iamthatgirl.com

This picture above represents just that. My struggle in learning who Mahalia truly is.  She is loving & kind and omgee so goofy. She can be extremely determined OR extremely lazy. She tends to go with the directions of her feelings or discernment. She can at times be really mean when she has one of those "oooh my wig too tight" headaches (btw she will rock a wig real quick). She is also learning what it means to truly be celibate with her heart. She is lover but will fight and she loves being transparent. She was once close to 200lbs, she has a bit of a tummy and yet she takes pride in her hourglass shape and full beautiful lips.

I really don't know what direction I was trying to take this post but I do know that we as women have to be able to truly take a look in the mirror and just take everything in with no photoshop. What do you see? I dare you to take a moment and truly just write about who you see when you look in the mirror.  Do you like her? 

We all have pasts that contribute to some of the hardships we struggle with today. But if I let that be an excuse to not search for better then what can I teach my future daughters? How can I be an example of the type of woman my son can date? I couldn't be. If I allowed the demons of my past to overtake me, I would probably be single for the rest of my life. Many people would be surprise by some of the struggles I dealt with in my past but you know what? It made me.

I was born and made with my own customized struggles, but each day I wake up and I have a decision to either be lazy and not make any moves or get up and move forward. Where I came from does not determine who I  am, where I am, or where I am going. I believe that the IAMTHATGIRL Founders definitely know that it is time for a lot of us to take back our strength in a positive way. One of the main things I love about this is that it has entirely nothing to do with race but actually about us! Just us & I love it!  And I am always down for some amazingly beautiful Girl Power talk ;)

Know your worth beautiful. Be a scholar of your God given beauty.

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well" - Psalms 139:14

What Am I Doing With My Life?

One of the things that many college students ask themselves is, "What do I want to do with my life?". It's actually a popular question. One that few of us actually are able to answer while still in college. I, myself, knew from the moment that I received my acceptance letter from Texas A&M University -- I was meant to be a Psychology major.

And I mean that was cool, for a start. I later saw that just having an idea was only a small chunk into the enormous galaxy of possibilities in which is my future. Having an idea of what I wanted to major in was cute while in high school but as I entered college I seen that only more questions was waiting for me on campus.

Today, I was posed with an interesting question from an unusual source. I was showing my family around the campus and we came across an unusually, interesting man, with an unusually interesting question --- (paraphrasing) "What are your plans for your future?". Now I must say, after so much deep thought post graduation, I still had not come up with an idea....or so I thought.

When he came up to me and asked me that question....the sad, honest to God truth is that I did not have an answer for him, although I had an answer. Weird right? I had an answer while not having one all at the same time.

The truth is I do have an answer. The part that is missing is the how and because of that, I kept my thoughts in secret. Isn't it amazing, that although I have graduated & am working on a career, I still don't feel confident in the direction of my future to actually repeat it out loud. .....AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

Let me be the first to say that we are all searching for the purpose of our lives. We all constantly ask ourselves, "Why are we doing what we're doing?" The fact of the matter is that everything that we are doing at this very moment is molding our hidden purposes in our lives. I know that we all would like a nice, cookie cutter answer but it all comes down to the obvious --- we are a work in progress.

So breath and know that you are building your future at this moment. I've learned that our jobs are not to have all the answers but to constantly be searching and working hard to discover what those answers are.

Going back to the original inquiry about my future, I became unsettled with my original answer. It wasn't deep enough to express my passions, however maybe that just represented my overall surface level tries of discovering those passions.

I am grateful for that unusually interesting man. He made me think deeper into myself and to pull out even deeper desires in my heart and to use them to motivate me to keep searching for that deeper hunger for my future.

So to my college students reading this or my beast working hard in the workforce, please know that it is not only about finishing the race but about the rocks, brooks, and fallen trees that got into your paths that you overcame and still learned from anyways.

Much love to you all! Night, Night!

"For What Is Your Life?" - James 4:14

Why I Chose to be Celibate..

To some people, this title might shock you..and that was definitely my intention. One of the things that I am paying attention to is that more people tend to read my posts when they are centered around relationships so I decided to go in on another topic and be transparent.

Now when we think about celibacy, we automatically think about S-E-X. We think about the Trey Songz, R-Kelly's  or even Tyrese moments of our lives. As a Christian woman, one thing I did notice was that we place so much attention on waiting until marriage. We treat it like a delicate, sacred induction into being the ultimate Woman of God.

Now don't get me wrong, sex outside of marriage, i.e fornication, is sin and it is wrong. But I want to go a lot deeper into the act. What does it really mean to be celibate?

One of the things that held me to a different standard growing up was my decision to wait until marriage. With a combination of that as well as past events that took place in my life, it was easy for me to decline even placing myself in uncomfortable situations that could lead to the disappearance of my virginity.

As I got older, I started to see the perks of still having that infamous, red little V-card. It earned me a certain amount of respect from my male counterparts. Whenever, I would tell them (after they asked of course) that I was a virgin, they would "ooooh" and "aaaaahhh" and tell me how rare that is. To be as "old" as I was and still be a virgin gave almost every single one of them hope, as well as a prerogative to conquer the quest of the "V".

From then on, I took it as an honor, to still have my virginity because it set me apart. Not only that but having that V-Card also created a safety net for me. After learning things regarding my past, I had issues with trusting men (that's a totally different blog post) and so I knew that who ever I married would have to honestly love me for me because it would not be for the sex that wasn't happening.

As I got older, I started to think even deeper into the whole "waiting till marriage" way of thinking and it made me think about it in a totally different way. Even if a person decides to be sexually celibate, what about their heart?

So often, as Christian women, we focus on the Sodom & Gomorrah scenes in the Bible. And it is like we make up our minds that remaining a virgin is the ultimate sacrifice as a woman to show her love for God. True enough, our bodies are temples (1 Corinthians 9:16) and we are far more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31:10) but is that really all God was talking about when it came to remaining pure?

I learned that is faaaaaaarrrr from the case. There are many times that as believers, male or females, we may remain physically celibate but our heart's virginity is far spent. We tend to think so much about making sure that we are sexually pure that we forget that our heart's virginity is just as important if not more. I mean let's be honest, whether we have had great experiences with love or the absolute worst, our hearts (whether warm or cold) are the determining factor of how close we allow someone to get to us.

I mean it only makes since when you think about it, a protected heart means a more fulfilling life and deeper & more meaningful relationships. I learned that fornication goes way deeper than sex because it is our hearts that can connect us to the best or the worst of our experiences.

So I guess, as a Christian woman, I choose to be celibate in my heart as well. Everything I do comes from my heart. So that means those really right relationships as well as those "wait, Mahalia why?" relationships all stem from my heart. My livelihood depends on the rhythm of that drum that pumps blood through my body and effects the many lives around me.

My heart is precious cargo, which is kinda a huge deal.

And whether we realize it or not, the health of our hearts determines the health of our life and the health of the relationships that are within our lives. I learned that as growing up even in college, it was not enough to just say I was waiting till marriage and then go on with the rest of my life. Before we ever reach the threshold of physical satisfaction, we must decide that the protection of our hearts is a priority first.

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the coarse of your life." - Proverbs 4:23

The lessons you learn in college.....man lol.

Until next time lovies ;)

Sorry, I'm Not the "Wifey" For You...

Before I was blessed to have met the amazing man that is by my side now, I was off and on in different relationships. None of them lasted for an entire year, continuously  and honestly...I was not surprised.

Ladies, I think we can all honestly say that we know when we are in a relationship that is doomed to begin with. Now whether we decide to go with that gut feeling is a totally different blog post topic but ultimately, in the back of our minds we know what's not going to work out.

When I was single, I knew that I would automatically be labeled as the "wifey" type. A categorization that is meant to be the highest level of ambition for a young lady such as myself. When I was younger, I use to feel so honored to be labeled as the wifey type. That meant that I wasn't just seen as a whore, or a "Felicia" but instead I had some degree of respect from other guys. They knew that I was serious about who I dated.

Now this is all fine a well, but as I got older, I started to see the fuzzy, blurred line in this label. Being labeled as a wifey also meant that who ever I was dating at that time automatically thought that I was ultimately meant to be the "wifey" for them.

I mean, every single guy I was trying to get to know went straight to the alter and I just was not ready for all that seriousness. They took a sense of authority and obligation over me and for anyone who knows me, you already know, that was such a huge, uncomfortable no-no for me. Don't claim me, if I am not yours. It's that simple.

Well there is also another way to see this as well. As I thought deeper about this "honor" I then began to think of this from a guy's point of view. Guys don't know what kind of drama they are allowing in their lives when they mislabel a "moment" as a "wifey". With that commitment comes baggage from former relationships and you have to be ready for all that.

And I get it, when you have been in a lot of rough relationships with scandalous, unrealistic, ridiculous women it is so easy to just let your guard down when you believe you have found the complete package. But oooooh my fellas, that's just where the journey begins lol.

As with women, men must keep their hearts guarded as well because attaching yourself to the wrong person can ultimately make you bitter towards the right woman as well as leave you with court orders, child support receipts, and a lifetime of headaches that no one needs or wants.

So yes, it is always easier to just see a woman who looks like she has it all together and label that idea as a future but when you look deeper into her soul you have to remember a few things. Is she someone you'd want to mother your kids. Does she hold the same values as yourself? Can she love what you love even if she doesn't fully understand why? Is she your road dawwg? lol That's a few things that a "wifey" must check off her list before receiving the label.

A woman must meet the definition of a wifey before she even qualifies for the title.

So to sum up everything plainly, unless she was Divinely shown to you from the Man above. Please oh please, do not label a woman your wifey unless you know for the fact that her presence can not be replaced by anyone else's. Sometimes it's not the fact that the woman you are getting to know isn't wife material, in fact she may very well be BUT every wifey type is not meant to be your wife.

I thought about all the men in my past who have given me that label and man, if I was meant to be every single one of their wives I'd probably qualify for my own reality show. At the end of the day, just like every trend is not meant to be your "thing", every woman is not meant to be your wife.

And know, if that woman wasn't meant for you in the first place then you are not missing out on anything. Desperation is such a tricky little beast. It will have you believing a complete lie to fulfill your inner most desires. But it is okay, you are not alone! These are things God already knows and so let that peace tame that desperation to hand out titles that she may or may not deserve. 

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." - Proverbs 31:25

So breath fellas....she's out there. And when you meet you her, your soul will know ;)

Early Morning Sunday Corner: #OperationKingdomMindset

You know, when I first started this blog, my intentions was to really blog about life after college. I started in Aug 2010, a totally different person than who I am now. I cared more about what others thought of me, in the wrong ways. I was more sensitive to the critiques of people that weren't even suppose to be a vital aspect in my life to begin with.

I had many ups and downs but by the time I got to my final year, I felt a change in me. It felt like a cool, swift wind, in my inner self telling me, "Mahalia, it's time". I usually can always sense when it is time for a change because things look different to me. I start craving new possibilities and goals for my life. It's a scary but exciting feeling all balled up into one....and guess what.......

IT'S BAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!

Honestly, I am starting to get use to changes happening in a cycle for me now, I guess you can call it discernment which is one thing I appreciate from God. One thing God is teaching me is that you can not go into a new place in your life with an old mindset.

For example, I entered into a new place in my life fairly quickly after graduating. Not complaining, just saying, it was quick. Everything to a large extent seemed like a blur so when I was finally settling into my life as a Businesswomen instead of a College Student, I started to noticed that I still had that fearful college student frame of mind, which in no way is a plus in the real world.

I was scared of not being able to determine my future, unlike my class schedule that I could predict fairly easy before the beginning of each semester. It's funny really.  The real world is in no way like college because to a large extent, we're sheltered.  A Plan B is always provided like a safety net when you screw up. There is always a Plan B.

Well that changed January 2015. My life changed, so therefore I was required to change whether I was ready or not....which I wasn't.  I was a wreck when I first got my job because it was my first big girl job. My first "I's a Woman NOW!" declaration to the World, which is cool but not always satisfying.

Well this month will make Month 8 of my this new Journey and well, a lot has changed within me. Certain ways of thinking, I just can't have anymore because I am starting to clearly see that it is getting in the way of my overall growth as a Woman & most importantly as a Believer.  So I typed all this so explain my title which is also some one of an invitation from me to you to join me on this new journey within a journey :).

God has been revealing to me that I can not expect Him to make mighty, amazing moves in my life while still having a Spirit of disbelief, faithlessness, negativity and fear. Although He is such an Almighty God , He still loves us enough to not force to do something that we don't want to do. How amazing is that?? It's a relationship and that's what makes it all so amazing. 

As I have been praying for Him to reveal the things within me that are not like Him, He has also been showing me that the company I keep is a key component to the person I am. So as I prayed this prayer of Purging my soul, He began to reveal to me people in my life that have in a way kept me from Him. The crazy thing is, they are not blaspheming His Word, they are not doing anything extremely but it is in fact my care for them that has been replacing my peace in Him. 

*Deep right? It gets deeper* 

We will never be able to escape people completely, especially those we care about. We do however, have the power to learn how to balance out our inner spiritual devotions & needs and the outside world that helps us search more for Him even more. It's a certain balance that comes into play as a Believer here on Earth. That is why I feel like having a Kingdom Mindset is so important, hence....

#OperationKingdomMindset

Refocusing my life on things that are pleasing to Him has become more important to me now than ever before. I guess it is because I am really starting a new place in my life where I have to learn to lean less on my mom and more on myself. The thing about that though is that I am weak and many times confused. Alot of times, I need help lol! 

Even for those who don't believe in Christ, if you take out time to read the Bible, you will even see that alot of the requirements are things that not only help us deal with this ridiculous, unpredictable world and helps us sleep at night as well. 

I want peace yall. I want to enjoy my life, no matter whether I am in a high or low place at the moment. And I definitely don't want that joy to be determined by a person or a situation. 

So as for me; #operationKingdomMindset is in full effect ;)

--------------------------------------------------------<3 --------------------------------------------------------------Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But thy delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.

- Psalms 1:1-2

Rule # 1: Surround yourself with like minded people.

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