I've thought about this time and time again and I have finally come to the realization and understanding that sometimes there is nothing wrong with removing yourself from a situation that is not guiding you in the right direction.
And people will not understand your move. In fact, I am pretty sure that the only people who will understand are people who've actually had to do that themselves. So what's my story?
When I was younger I had the hugest fear of letting people down. I wanted people to be proud of me and support me. Not only that but I wanted to fit in as well. Ask anyone who I still talk to who I've known from elementary and they will pretty much all say that I was a nerd and that I was different lol. No shame in my game though...I'm a sexy nerd now lol...at least my boyfriend thinks so. Anyways, back then accepting myself was such a hard task.
As I got older, I started paying attention that the more I tried to be like everyone else the more God was showing me that I was meant to be different. No I didn't have some drastic, life changing events, in fact it was really little events that added up to a huge recollection of God's original blueprint of myself.
Another thing I really started noticing was my problems with females. YEEESSSS, FEMALES. It was like the more I got comfortable with myself the more hate I got from those who were suppose to have my back. I guess that's how life goes, however, as for me and my group of gal pals, I still have high expectations of what a friend should be. Therefore, I can also say I've lost a few "friends" and it was like a paper cut that took months and sometimes years to heal. But that's a-WHOLE-nother blog.
High school and college slapped me out of a world of naivety and disbelief. I learned that people will hate on you to the point where they will try to take what you have. I learned that for many people, owning up to their own actions is a task within its self. However, the main lesson that I learned was that many people will hate on your self concept when they have yet to discover their own. Let me explain.....
A lot of people will look at you and only see the "meat" of your life. They will see that career or that education, that marriage, that lifestyle and not once will they actually sit down to think HOW you accomplished all of that. But let's dig deeper...
When you are comfortable in your own skin, you then become okay with the random events in your life that sometimes seem inevitable. You begin to handle things differently and start trying to change your situations instead of allowing situations to change you. And well...let's just say, everyone isn't there yet lol.
Uuugh, I can not even fully describe how it feels to be an innocent bystander between a person fighting to find themselves. At the end of the day, when you really allow yourself to remove yourself and see what's really going on, you will see a person struggling to get to who they are. A battle we all have to face at one point or another in our lives.
SO how does all of this connect with removing yourself? Hunny, I just gave you a few reasons to move lol. Life is all about changes and a lot of times we miss out on the many opportunities God provides for us because we don't move. As for me, I'm still learning that. However, I now know how vital it is to really make moves even if I don't necessarily feel like it.
People will drain you. They will suck the life right out of you if you allow them to. Sometimes we are in situations for so long that we think, "well maybe this is the life God wants me to live". Noo, noo, noooo...I have so many goals I want to accomplish. I can literally taste the life I want my children to have and after truly allowing myself to see people as they are (not as I would like them to be), it gave me the peace and the drive to put my life into drive instead of staying in cruise control.
I needed to remove myself from a type of mind frame that was detrimental to my future and EVERYONE WASNT MEANT TO MOVE WITH ME. I am not saying that I stopped talking to them, I am saying that I finally said to myself, "You know what Mahalia? This is your life, they are doing what they want to do with their own life...do what you need do." But even in that defining moment, I had to be careful.
People are funny. I say that because while they tend to not want you to tell them what to do, they will also want you to stay along for the ride until they decide to get off. So then what do you do? They like where their life is even though you don't?
You move.
And not for them, for yourself. You make a decision for you to move around for the betterment of you. I finally decided to stop trying to really change the lives of my friends and to really just focus of making moves for myself and it was weird at first. At first I felt like I was being selfish and then I reminded myself of how stuck I felt and there is nothing I hate more than feeling complacent.
I started really focusing on God and where He is taking me and my life. My career goals, my relationship with my beau, my family, my own health. I started focusing on me because here's some 100% real truth for you: those same people you are concerned about are not concerned about you and I can promise you that when they finally decide to make the decision to change the status of their lives whether you choose to tag a long or get left, they are unbothered by either decision.
My life matters. My future matters. My purpose matters, and it is up to me to really care about the direction of my life. Never look for the definition of yourself in someone else's dictionary. Sweetheart, discover that in the Lord. You will be surprised at how content and purposeful your life becomes once you start uncovering your own blueprint.
Everyone is not meant to find out what that blueprint is. Everyone is not meant to have a say-so in the navigation of your life. The one thing I love about where I am in this particular part of my life is that I am learning how to love me with no strings attached. I feel beautifully blessed and a lot of that had to do with adding more of God and subtracting a malnutritioned way of thinking and people that just did not belong in my circle.
Sometimes the initial steps don't feel normal or good but when you hit that divine equilibrium that only God controls, you will never look back but only to reflect on how far you've come.
Until next time loves....
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