For those who are not aware, Howdy Camp is an amazing tradition at Texas A&M that immerses you into every single possible tradition that has kept the campus as alive as it is. It is actually pretty amazing (and yes I am bias) because it is kind of like an induction of "Mama, I made it in!". It's pretty great. While all of these extraordinary things were taking place, something even more interesting was taking place inside of me. I was analyzing my entire self lol.
I remember calling my mama, almost crying because I had never truly experienced being a true minority. Back in my neighborhood, it was majority blacks and hispanics and rarely whites or anyone else for that matter so therefore I was never pushed into a position to actually have to think about "What does it mean to be black?"
Well, I can honestly say, after my Howdy Camp experience, although it made me highly uncomfortable, it also gave me a reality check in regards to what the world was like outside of my ecosystem, 5th Ward, Houston, Tx. It helped me understand that life is a lot more critical due to the skin I am in. I would never erase that experience! It made me grow as a woman.
To all of my non-black readers, let me first say that this passage is not to make you feel bad about who God created you to be. You were placed in your skin for reason. With that being said, one thing I have learned after being in a world where I was probably a ratio of 5 out of 100 in a class room, life is different as a black person. It's just that simple.
I have noticed now that I have been getting comments such as, "Hey everything isn't about color" or "Calm down, stop tripping no one is paying attention to you like that." And it truly amazes me and peaks my curiosity at how great it must feel to live a life where you don't feel like you are constantly being criticized.
But reality is, being coated with this illustrious, deliciously rich melanin comes with great responsibility. We see parody videos on YouTube of all sorts but I can tell you right now, as much as I love who God made me, it is also very frustrating at times.
Many people would like to finally write off slavery and say that we need to move from the past. While I don't think we should use that as an excuse to stay stagnant, I do believe that we have to take in account that it is that very vital part of history that still effects us today.
I always tell others that aren't black that you never know how it feels to be black unless you are black and my opinion still stands. Living while black is something that is to be celebrated but at the same time comes with chains from the past as well as a possible contract towards the future. From the way I wear my hair, to how I speak, to what I say, to what I do, to how intelligent am I (really?), it is always being criticized as "a black thing".
When I was in school, I came across some people who had never been around a black person ever in their lives. Their only taste of the culture was via the Tube (The Cosby's or Fresh Prince of Bell-Air) so when I met these interesting people, they automatically approached me with and extra jerk in their neck or with some kind of ridiculous twang in their voice. So I am left looking at them with the strongest side eye.
Of course, due to stereotypes, I had to be aware of how I handled these situations because it can either go really well (i.e...I teach them that black people are just regular human beings) or really bad (i.e...I am labeled as the angry black woman for all other black women they later encounter)...yes this is real life! Living while black is a constant juggling game between making decisions based on how life should be and on how life really is.
I am pretty sure that other cultures have their own struggles. I will never overlook that. However, as a black woman, having to constantly prove myself from scratch in almost every new situation in fear of the mindset of others is a huge, life long responsibility. These ideas of black people were not just caused by a recent incident that has a occurred. It was caused strategically by a taught mindset that told everyone black means, "inferior, uneducated, bad, and [enter any other negative connotation here]".
How would you feel if this was your life? It is a great responsibility and while I cringe at the continuous struggle to overcome assumptions that are slapped on me to wake me up at birth into this world, I take so much pride in who I am.
IT TAKES A HELLA STRONG WOMAN TO INTENTIONALLY CHOOSE A UNIVERSITY WHERE SHE WOULD BE 1 of 50 IN HER CLASS!!
I love my Alma Mater because it taught me what it means to truly live while being black. It made me grow up away from what I was use to but also taught me that for me to change the course of my life, I had to pull up my big girl draws and make some changes that will positively impact me and my family's future.
I've also learned how to check those who are not familiar with the idea that black people are just human beings too. Instead of giving me dap, a handshake is just fine. Instead of rolling your head off your neck to connect with my culture, just speak to me as a regular person. I don't need a lot of fireworks, just realness and it's as simple as that.
This topic can go on for days, but who ever is reading this, I'd like you to know that being black is not a thing, it's a way of living. As amazing and rich as this culture is, it is still suffering from problems of the past. No, this isn't an excuse but it is reality, the 13th Amendment did not cure ignorance, it just filtered it.
