Why I Chose NOT to Do Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships can be so over rated.....

My first taste of the long distance entree was anything but appetizing. It just did not work for me. I was not receiving what I needed. I often times felt so alone that even when I thought I was in a relationship, half the time I felt awkward saying I was out loud.

It just did not work for me. I tried it because I was in love. And well....love conquers all right? At least it's suppose to. But then what happens when it doesn't?

There is a such thing as truly loving someone who doesn't love you. And no, I do not mean loving a figment of who you think or would dream of that person to be. I mean truly seeing their highs and lows, grimy disfigured flaws and loving it all. That's where I was when I first took part of this weighty, yet unstable business venture I labeled as a long distance relationship.

Love will make you do some crazy..... OUT RIGHT STUPID...things. However....

I felt that I could trust this person who I laid my heart out for. So I took the crazy chance of giving it a shot. I now understand that a key factor in long distance relationships is TRUST. You have to have it before even finalizing the agreement of a long distance relationship. I mean come on, a long distance relationship is like the stock market. You have no control. You really have no logical facts. You just hope and pray that eventually things will work out in your favor.

Honestly, I had not one doubt in my mind that it would not work out. (And to this day, I will never know where that amount of confidence came from lol). I just knew that because I was trustworthy so was my counterpart. It's crazy, its as if I made a comfort zone within my ignorance. Things weren't completely reliable. Communication was almost none existent and well, I was in a relationship with myself really.

Well, once everything hit the fan, feelings were presented on the table like a fine 6-course meal (wine included of course, only the finest, most exquisite crazy) and once I got tired of the roller coaster of what I thought was an okay relationship I finally decided that after this, I was totally done with long distance relationships.

As if my loneliness wasn't enough, I soon learned that a few things were thrown out the window long before I got fed up, like fidelity, honesty, and respect. Y'all, I found out a lot was going on behind my back, while I was praying and believing that God would make a way.  So much that Mahalia never out rightly signed up for. So you bets believe, Mahalia was over the fairy tale of what's labeled as a long distance relationship and I told myself that I wasn't playing that game anymore. The scars hurt too much, my heart was bruised, and my brain was sooooo tired.

Well do you know that God's sense of humor is unlike anyone else's?

Not long after making that vow to myself, I ended up meeting a man after my own heart. Here's the kicker, he was a year after me meaning that once again, I would have to meet the face of the beast once again, a long distance relationship. Everything was so perfect but as the months got closer to me graduating, my fears were trying to graduate with me as well.

I could not do it.

But I loved him.

So what do I do?

Well let me tell you what key thing I have learned thus far. NEVER COMPARE YOUR PAST TO YOUR FUTURE. At least not in a way that is detrimental to what's to come. Learn, yes but compare, don't do that. As my fears crept up during the months leading to December 19th, my Mr. Right also reassured me that we would make it constantly. Something that did not happen with Mr. Wrong lol.

He constantly looked into my eyes, without doubt or fear and told me, "We will be okay. I'm not going anywhere." And honestly, I gained strength and confidence through his strength and confidence.

To be completely honest with you ladies and gents, whether a relationship will work out or not does not depend on the physical distance between two people. In fact, you can be right in the bed next to that person and be further than you know.

I can give you tangible ideas but at the end of the day, if a person loves you, distance will never be an excuse, YALL WILL FIND A WAY TO WORK IT OUT. So please, never allow someone to come to you and say, "long distance relationships never work out". That is a lie, look at a believer's relationship with God. Physically, we couldn't be further away, and yet He shows us new ways that He loves us daily. But He does it because HE loves us and takes the initiative to show us.

The same applies to our relationships here on Earth. If God can love us from Heaven (the ultimate long distance relationship) then we can definitely make it work here on Earth.


When it comes to relationships working out, the responsibility is not on the distance between the two but on the two people and their ability to fight for what's theirs. IF that person is not fighting, then it wasn't theirs to win in the first place. Count it all joy and keep an open heart to what's yours to have, in Jesus Name.

"Three things will last forever --faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13