So*This*Is*NOT*What*You*May*Think......
As I sit here in my "going to bed" mode (perm rollers set & scarf completely on the highest of fleek), I think about the events that took place in my life as of recently. As some of you may already know, I am now an auntie of 12 nieces & nephews (that's right folks...numbers don't lie). Some of you may be thinking, how can a 23 year old woman be an Auntie to that many kids....it's possible and it's definitely done but that is not the reason for this particular post. All these kids have really got me thinking about life.
I NEVER thought that I would catch myself in such a
cliche' part of my life.
Honestly, I thought I was still too young to even have to answer this question. (Which I will get to in a moment....or you may have already assumed.) We are so living in a day in age where women are expected to go forth into a career or to further their education before anything else. At times, it seems to be held by even a higher standard than taking any other route. But I have now come to the conclusion that this cliche' way of thinking may actually be reality. Hence, the golden question......
When Are You Going To Start Having Some Babies?
I think that the college life has spoiled me in a way.
When you live in a town that was made completely for a university, you tend to get so use to life in that bubble. So use to it, that you may even think that your way of thinking is that of the majority.
Such a lie.
TO MY COLLEGE FOLKS --> Stop lying to yourself. Let me tell you why......
When I graduated from high school, I knew a number of people who had kids soon after. I am not judging, I'm just saying...that's what happened. What I also noticed was that those that decided to go the college route thought that having kids at the age of 18-21 was sooooooooo weird. Even I thought that was soooo young. I really did because my life still consisted of books, studying and grades.
Well as I got further through college, I soon learned that my way of thinking was actually WRONG. Those deciding to further their education are actually the minority. From my self made survey (completed completely in my head) I saw a trend that usually once graduated from high school, a lot more of us start families than putting that on hold for a career. Not saying either way is right or wrong.... that's just what had happened.
So where am I going with all this? Well, I am now 23 and I think this is usually the peak age of starting a family for women. For the first time, I am starting to lowkey feel the pressure of others and their "?s".
And yes, I know that at the end of the day, it's nobody's business but my own but I am finally starting to understand what we had once talked about so much in a number of my Psychology classes.
EXPECTATIONS.
I remember being in college with a different set of expectations. At that time, everyone had their own set of expectations for my career and the direction of it. AND NOW....now what I have graduated, now what I have been blessed with a great job, blessed to be with an amazing person....a lot of people are like:
DEGREE + JOB + MAN = GIRL WHAT YOU WAITING ON??
So.........ladies and gents...here are my answer[s]:
God's Timing:
It's perfect. Now do not get me wrong, every child that is meant to be here is meant to be here. Not one child is a mistake or an accident. God has purpose for everyone who is on this Earth so please never misunderstand His purpose for our choices. What I am saying is that, although all that is true, life is harder with a child when you are not mentally prepared to have one. I have rushed when it came to certain points in my life, and I am finally learning to slow down and smell those amazing roses God has placed in my life. When I wait on Him, I am giving Him room to establish that favor in my life that I so desire. Plus, I am waiting on His timing for that ring too honey child!!! I trust that in His season, everything will fall into place. I don't know when His timing is, but I do know that with His timing comes His perfection which is totally my safety net...blanket....& everything else used to describe trust & peace.
Generational Curses:
I am determined to break them. Simple as that. Through prayer, fasting and just going against the grain of that has been done for years within my family. I believe to get different results, you must take different directions and you have to be strong enough to handle the criticism that comes along with that....whether it is from others or yourself. You just can't do things the same way you or your family has done when you already know the answer to that hard, complicated life equation. Why not try something different?
This is Me & Bae's Time:
You know, the subtitle tells it all. This is time for me and the bae to cake it up and get to really know each other. It has actually taken me a long time to finally get to this point. As a young girl, getting married and having a family has always been something that was pushed in our faces as our conceptional duties at birth. It has been stamped on us to rush. I am just starting to learn, understand and accept the fact that God's timing is HIS timing for a reason. Every place we find ourselves in is meaningful because it edifies our lives and grandioso purpose. As long as it is God's will, this is our time to just love on each other without having to share the attention. This is definitely our time to really accomplish our dreams, travel the world....DO WHATEVER WE WON'T BE ABLE TO DO WITH KIDS. And I know there are some that can still do a lot even with them but we lazy.....ain't nobody got time for that. (And we are totally fine with that lol). This is time for us to grow spiritually, mentally and physically as individuals and as a couple.
Overall....
Regardless of where you find yourself, whether you are married or not, a parent or not....have a degree or not..whatever walk of life you may find yourself in, know that God is with you. Don't try to see how much greener the grass is on your friend's or a stranger's lawn. It is pointless, you were made for the life that you are living right now and your can either float or sink. Never down your current situation (no matter how pretty & shiny or dull & ugly) because it doesn't look like what the world says it should. A lot of times, we don't even see the beauty in our own lives until we have that light bulb moment. LOVE YOUR LIFE. Love it up and trust in God to keep you moving in the correct direction, even if it is going against the grain. You were made purposeful, powerful, flawed but destined. ;)
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