What Am I Doing With My Life?

One of the things that many college students ask themselves is, "What do I want to do with my life?". It's actually a popular question. One that few of us actually are able to answer while still in college. I, myself, knew from the moment that I received my acceptance letter from Texas A&M University -- I was meant to be a Psychology major.

And I mean that was cool, for a start. I later saw that just having an idea was only a small chunk into the enormous galaxy of possibilities in which is my future. Having an idea of what I wanted to major in was cute while in high school but as I entered college I seen that only more questions was waiting for me on campus.

Today, I was posed with an interesting question from an unusual source. I was showing my family around the campus and we came across an unusually, interesting man, with an unusually interesting question --- (paraphrasing) "What are your plans for your future?". Now I must say, after so much deep thought post graduation, I still had not come up with an idea....or so I thought.

When he came up to me and asked me that question....the sad, honest to God truth is that I did not have an answer for him, although I had an answer. Weird right? I had an answer while not having one all at the same time.

The truth is I do have an answer. The part that is missing is the how and because of that, I kept my thoughts in secret. Isn't it amazing, that although I have graduated & am working on a career, I still don't feel confident in the direction of my future to actually repeat it out loud. .....AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

Let me be the first to say that we are all searching for the purpose of our lives. We all constantly ask ourselves, "Why are we doing what we're doing?" The fact of the matter is that everything that we are doing at this very moment is molding our hidden purposes in our lives. I know that we all would like a nice, cookie cutter answer but it all comes down to the obvious --- we are a work in progress.

So breath and know that you are building your future at this moment. I've learned that our jobs are not to have all the answers but to constantly be searching and working hard to discover what those answers are.

Going back to the original inquiry about my future, I became unsettled with my original answer. It wasn't deep enough to express my passions, however maybe that just represented my overall surface level tries of discovering those passions.

I am grateful for that unusually interesting man. He made me think deeper into myself and to pull out even deeper desires in my heart and to use them to motivate me to keep searching for that deeper hunger for my future.

So to my college students reading this or my beast working hard in the workforce, please know that it is not only about finishing the race but about the rocks, brooks, and fallen trees that got into your paths that you overcame and still learned from anyways.

Much love to you all! Night, Night!

"For What Is Your Life?" - James 4:14

Why I Chose to be Celibate..

To some people, this title might shock you..and that was definitely my intention. One of the things that I am paying attention to is that more people tend to read my posts when they are centered around relationships so I decided to go in on another topic and be transparent.

Now when we think about celibacy, we automatically think about S-E-X. We think about the Trey Songz, R-Kelly's  or even Tyrese moments of our lives. As a Christian woman, one thing I did notice was that we place so much attention on waiting until marriage. We treat it like a delicate, sacred induction into being the ultimate Woman of God.

Now don't get me wrong, sex outside of marriage, i.e fornication, is sin and it is wrong. But I want to go a lot deeper into the act. What does it really mean to be celibate?

One of the things that held me to a different standard growing up was my decision to wait until marriage. With a combination of that as well as past events that took place in my life, it was easy for me to decline even placing myself in uncomfortable situations that could lead to the disappearance of my virginity.

As I got older, I started to see the perks of still having that infamous, red little V-card. It earned me a certain amount of respect from my male counterparts. Whenever, I would tell them (after they asked of course) that I was a virgin, they would "ooooh" and "aaaaahhh" and tell me how rare that is. To be as "old" as I was and still be a virgin gave almost every single one of them hope, as well as a prerogative to conquer the quest of the "V".

From then on, I took it as an honor, to still have my virginity because it set me apart. Not only that but having that V-Card also created a safety net for me. After learning things regarding my past, I had issues with trusting men (that's a totally different blog post) and so I knew that who ever I married would have to honestly love me for me because it would not be for the sex that wasn't happening.

As I got older, I started to think even deeper into the whole "waiting till marriage" way of thinking and it made me think about it in a totally different way. Even if a person decides to be sexually celibate, what about their heart?

So often, as Christian women, we focus on the Sodom & Gomorrah scenes in the Bible. And it is like we make up our minds that remaining a virgin is the ultimate sacrifice as a woman to show her love for God. True enough, our bodies are temples (1 Corinthians 9:16) and we are far more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31:10) but is that really all God was talking about when it came to remaining pure?

I learned that is faaaaaaarrrr from the case. There are many times that as believers, male or females, we may remain physically celibate but our heart's virginity is far spent. We tend to think so much about making sure that we are sexually pure that we forget that our heart's virginity is just as important if not more. I mean let's be honest, whether we have had great experiences with love or the absolute worst, our hearts (whether warm or cold) are the determining factor of how close we allow someone to get to us.

I mean it only makes since when you think about it, a protected heart means a more fulfilling life and deeper & more meaningful relationships. I learned that fornication goes way deeper than sex because it is our hearts that can connect us to the best or the worst of our experiences.

So I guess, as a Christian woman, I choose to be celibate in my heart as well. Everything I do comes from my heart. So that means those really right relationships as well as those "wait, Mahalia why?" relationships all stem from my heart. My livelihood depends on the rhythm of that drum that pumps blood through my body and effects the many lives around me.

My heart is precious cargo, which is kinda a huge deal.

And whether we realize it or not, the health of our hearts determines the health of our life and the health of the relationships that are within our lives. I learned that as growing up even in college, it was not enough to just say I was waiting till marriage and then go on with the rest of my life. Before we ever reach the threshold of physical satisfaction, we must decide that the protection of our hearts is a priority first.

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the coarse of your life." - Proverbs 4:23

The lessons you learn in college.....man lol.

Until next time lovies ;)

Sorry, I'm Not the "Wifey" For You...

Before I was blessed to have met the amazing man that is by my side now, I was off and on in different relationships. None of them lasted for an entire year, continuously  and honestly...I was not surprised.

Ladies, I think we can all honestly say that we know when we are in a relationship that is doomed to begin with. Now whether we decide to go with that gut feeling is a totally different blog post topic but ultimately, in the back of our minds we know what's not going to work out.

When I was single, I knew that I would automatically be labeled as the "wifey" type. A categorization that is meant to be the highest level of ambition for a young lady such as myself. When I was younger, I use to feel so honored to be labeled as the wifey type. That meant that I wasn't just seen as a whore, or a "Felicia" but instead I had some degree of respect from other guys. They knew that I was serious about who I dated.

Now this is all fine a well, but as I got older, I started to see the fuzzy, blurred line in this label. Being labeled as a wifey also meant that who ever I was dating at that time automatically thought that I was ultimately meant to be the "wifey" for them.

I mean, every single guy I was trying to get to know went straight to the alter and I just was not ready for all that seriousness. They took a sense of authority and obligation over me and for anyone who knows me, you already know, that was such a huge, uncomfortable no-no for me. Don't claim me, if I am not yours. It's that simple.

Well there is also another way to see this as well. As I thought deeper about this "honor" I then began to think of this from a guy's point of view. Guys don't know what kind of drama they are allowing in their lives when they mislabel a "moment" as a "wifey". With that commitment comes baggage from former relationships and you have to be ready for all that.

And I get it, when you have been in a lot of rough relationships with scandalous, unrealistic, ridiculous women it is so easy to just let your guard down when you believe you have found the complete package. But oooooh my fellas, that's just where the journey begins lol.

As with women, men must keep their hearts guarded as well because attaching yourself to the wrong person can ultimately make you bitter towards the right woman as well as leave you with court orders, child support receipts, and a lifetime of headaches that no one needs or wants.

So yes, it is always easier to just see a woman who looks like she has it all together and label that idea as a future but when you look deeper into her soul you have to remember a few things. Is she someone you'd want to mother your kids. Does she hold the same values as yourself? Can she love what you love even if she doesn't fully understand why? Is she your road dawwg? lol That's a few things that a "wifey" must check off her list before receiving the label.

A woman must meet the definition of a wifey before she even qualifies for the title.

So to sum up everything plainly, unless she was Divinely shown to you from the Man above. Please oh please, do not label a woman your wifey unless you know for the fact that her presence can not be replaced by anyone else's. Sometimes it's not the fact that the woman you are getting to know isn't wife material, in fact she may very well be BUT every wifey type is not meant to be your wife.

I thought about all the men in my past who have given me that label and man, if I was meant to be every single one of their wives I'd probably qualify for my own reality show. At the end of the day, just like every trend is not meant to be your "thing", every woman is not meant to be your wife.

And know, if that woman wasn't meant for you in the first place then you are not missing out on anything. Desperation is such a tricky little beast. It will have you believing a complete lie to fulfill your inner most desires. But it is okay, you are not alone! These are things God already knows and so let that peace tame that desperation to hand out titles that she may or may not deserve. 

"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." - Proverbs 31:25

So breath fellas....she's out there. And when you meet you her, your soul will know ;)

Early Morning Sunday Corner: #OperationKingdomMindset

You know, when I first started this blog, my intentions was to really blog about life after college. I started in Aug 2010, a totally different person than who I am now. I cared more about what others thought of me, in the wrong ways. I was more sensitive to the critiques of people that weren't even suppose to be a vital aspect in my life to begin with.

I had many ups and downs but by the time I got to my final year, I felt a change in me. It felt like a cool, swift wind, in my inner self telling me, "Mahalia, it's time". I usually can always sense when it is time for a change because things look different to me. I start craving new possibilities and goals for my life. It's a scary but exciting feeling all balled up into one....and guess what.......

IT'S BAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!

Honestly, I am starting to get use to changes happening in a cycle for me now, I guess you can call it discernment which is one thing I appreciate from God. One thing God is teaching me is that you can not go into a new place in your life with an old mindset.

For example, I entered into a new place in my life fairly quickly after graduating. Not complaining, just saying, it was quick. Everything to a large extent seemed like a blur so when I was finally settling into my life as a Businesswomen instead of a College Student, I started to noticed that I still had that fearful college student frame of mind, which in no way is a plus in the real world.

I was scared of not being able to determine my future, unlike my class schedule that I could predict fairly easy before the beginning of each semester. It's funny really.  The real world is in no way like college because to a large extent, we're sheltered.  A Plan B is always provided like a safety net when you screw up. There is always a Plan B.

Well that changed January 2015. My life changed, so therefore I was required to change whether I was ready or not....which I wasn't.  I was a wreck when I first got my job because it was my first big girl job. My first "I's a Woman NOW!" declaration to the World, which is cool but not always satisfying.

Well this month will make Month 8 of my this new Journey and well, a lot has changed within me. Certain ways of thinking, I just can't have anymore because I am starting to clearly see that it is getting in the way of my overall growth as a Woman & most importantly as a Believer.  So I typed all this so explain my title which is also some one of an invitation from me to you to join me on this new journey within a journey :).

God has been revealing to me that I can not expect Him to make mighty, amazing moves in my life while still having a Spirit of disbelief, faithlessness, negativity and fear. Although He is such an Almighty God , He still loves us enough to not force to do something that we don't want to do. How amazing is that?? It's a relationship and that's what makes it all so amazing. 

As I have been praying for Him to reveal the things within me that are not like Him, He has also been showing me that the company I keep is a key component to the person I am. So as I prayed this prayer of Purging my soul, He began to reveal to me people in my life that have in a way kept me from Him. The crazy thing is, they are not blaspheming His Word, they are not doing anything extremely but it is in fact my care for them that has been replacing my peace in Him. 

*Deep right? It gets deeper* 

We will never be able to escape people completely, especially those we care about. We do however, have the power to learn how to balance out our inner spiritual devotions & needs and the outside world that helps us search more for Him even more. It's a certain balance that comes into play as a Believer here on Earth. That is why I feel like having a Kingdom Mindset is so important, hence....

#OperationKingdomMindset

Refocusing my life on things that are pleasing to Him has become more important to me now than ever before. I guess it is because I am really starting a new place in my life where I have to learn to lean less on my mom and more on myself. The thing about that though is that I am weak and many times confused. Alot of times, I need help lol! 

Even for those who don't believe in Christ, if you take out time to read the Bible, you will even see that alot of the requirements are things that not only help us deal with this ridiculous, unpredictable world and helps us sleep at night as well. 

I want peace yall. I want to enjoy my life, no matter whether I am in a high or low place at the moment. And I definitely don't want that joy to be determined by a person or a situation. 

So as for me; #operationKingdomMindset is in full effect ;)

--------------------------------------------------------<3 --------------------------------------------------------------Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But thy delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.

- Psalms 1:1-2

Rule # 1: Surround yourself with like minded people.

--------------------------------------------------------<3---------------------------------------------------------------

Early Sunday Morning Corner: How Do You Forgive?

Happy Sunday Everyone!! This post is a little too late to be early morning but hey it's still Sunday! #winning!

As I lay in this comfortable king sized bed, I was trying to figure out what did I want today's topic to be. After thinking for a few minutes, I remembered discovering something interesting about myself at Bible Study. I needed help forgiving.

This past Wednesday, at Bible Study the focus was relationships and the importance of improving them. The bottom line is.... No man is an island. No matter how much you keep repeating the words of Drake, "No new Friends". The fact still remains that everybody needs somebody. So while I was sitting there listening and getting some Word, God brought to my attention how much I hadn't forgiven an old friend.

I guess I thought I had. I didn't kick the person out of my life --as much as I wanted to at the time of the initial problem. I hadn't even been letting it hang over their head -- or so I thought.

But it was still hanging heavy over my heart. My trust was broken, and I was confused. Being in the family I was brought up in, we were taught how to let people go. So it kinda threw me off when after praying God spoke to me and said, "FORGIVE". To this very day, some are still confused as to why I hadn't ended the friendship but all I can say is God has deeper plans.

Well now here I am learning the art of forgiveness. Its a process, this post isn't even a post about how I "got over" its more of "how I am getting through". Truth be told, this whole process has been confusing at times because me being a human being tends to remember the hurt and pain, especially when it comes someone you are closest to. Yet an still, as a Believer, we are to forgive and sometimes the answer is simple but the process is hard.

What helps me forgive? Honestly, the thought of God forgiving me daily because I can definitely think of somethings I've done recently that needs some major forgiveness. A broken person in a broken world means broken commitments and the need for endless forgiveness. 

And so, I am learning how to truly do that. It is amazing at the things we tend to remember though. And the saying is true that "a person may not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel". Our psychological being is always looking for a way to protect itself and so that means remembering where the hurt came from and staying completely away from that. However, the crazy thing is that God teaches us to do the opposite and as a young woman in Christ, many times I fail with agreeing with His logic. Not because it is wrong (because He is perfect) but because my human was made in a fallen world of sin. 

It desires the opposite.

Forgiveness is so deep yall, the deeper the pain, the longer the process but I do believe that it is possible. If I can be forgiven then I can forgive. I just pray God continues to hold my hand through it. To put on my big girl pants and let forgiveness be an automatic in my heart.

PLUS --- holding something over someone's head only drains your life and NOBODY GOT TIME FOR ANY OF THAT!

It's about having that peace, and I am not saying that it will always be easy but as the saying goes, "To get what you have never gotten, you have to do what you have never done". And I am thinking that forgiveness is under that category as well. 

So to whomever may be reading this, let me just say that it is understandable to feel hurt and to want to protect yourself from that hurt. It is okay to be mad and frustrated but after that is said and done, it is also okay to love HIM, YOU, and maybe even that person, enough to forgive their debts against you.

You never know when you may need that same amount of mercy lent back to you.

Early Sunday Morning Corner: Finding the Masterpiece in Your Life

I wanted to start a new section on my blog - the Early Sunday Morning Corner- because I wanted to start posting regularly to my blog without over doing it on myself. At the moment, I usually post once a month which is not at all what my original goal was for my blog. However, with life, things alter and we all have to find that happy medium, that balanced pace for each of ourselves. Plus, I love Sunday Mornings because, in my opinion, it is the most peaceful day of the week. You know, that early morning part of the day while the dew is still relaxing on the grass and everything is just waking back up. I love it!! **Just had a moment, but I am back**

Anywho, if the Lord says the same, I will start consistently posting every Sunday - reminiscing on a key topic or topics regarding the week before. It gives me material to work with, which is one reason why I have not been posting as consistently as I should. Eeeeh writer's block can really take someone who loves to write out of commission. It's a pain, but I AM BACCK LOVIES so leggo!


One thing I have been doing a lot post graduation is thinking about my future or at least the future I would like to build. I have never thought of my career, marriage, kids, where I want to live., FINANCES.....I have never thought of that so much as I have now. I guess it is because I am at a new point in my life where I somewhat should. Although all those thoughts are exciting, the reality of it all can be overwhelming & almost depressing (if you look at the news - such a bad habit of mine...sarcasm lol). It is a lot that you have to take in account, if you haven't already, after graduation.

Within these last 8 months however, I have also been taking notes on myself. Well I don't know if I was doing this on purpose or not but I do know that God has been bringing a lot of things to my attention that I need to check to achieve the future I'd like. And let me tell, it rarely has to do with anyone else in my life...I MEAN 99.9999% of the time, random little things that come to my attention are things Mahalia needs to polish off on.

When I pray, I come to God all the time with how I see a different type of future for myself and family. A future that will give those around me hope that the cycle that currently takes place with us does not have to remain -- that chains can be broken, it's not just a song, IT'S AN OPTION. I strongly believe that.

All that sounds great right? Sounds life changing AMAH-AAAAAAZZZZIIINNNNGGGGG, no?  It sounds perfect but what He has brought to my attention is how much that would require change within me. Unfortunately, like all of us, I am not a blank canvas. I have years of good and bad habits, I have years of success and mishaps that have molded me into who I am. Therefore, it's not so much about creating a new masterpiece within our lives now. It is about taking the colors we already have on our canvas and finding the masterpiece that is already there. So how do you do that?

Finding the masterpiece within my life requires me to actually get to know Who the Master really is. And let me tell you, that is not always as simple as it sounds. Not because getting to know Him or our Savior Jesus Christ --- is hard but because of the fact that we have so many things in our lives that (in our eyes) are just as important. I can speak about this because I am in the midst of it all.

Getting to know our Master is actually quite simple. It doesn't require expensive material to buy or making reservations for a plane ticket or a hotel room. It just requires time and the craziest thing is that even that seems to evaporate out of our hands too quickly. So, what I have been doing is taking a different approach and gaining a little guidance. I have been reading this book called, " The Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian (i'll post a picture a little later)  and it has actually been helping me organize my canvas. Reading this book has brought to my attention how much I don't pray as I should. I don't mean like, "Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep..." type of prayer I mean speaking to the Lord in His language type of prayer....reading His Scriptures back to Him. Trust me when I say I am learning that there is a HUGE difference.

It's so crazy, while I have been doing all this deep thinking...and praying...and wondering, all of my answers go back to getting to know the Lord on a deeper level. And I guess when you are walking into a new, different journey that is definitely when you need to know Him the most. I know for a fact that I am no saint and if all of my thoughts were displayed on a Big Screen I would definitely be searching for my closet or my Hiding Place lololol. So it's always good to never forget how much we all are a work in progress and how much we all need Him to save the day EVERYDAY.

I am so humbled when I think about my own filthy, sad, conceited ways and how He still loves me anyways. It gives me strength to understand that everyone may not always understand the Masterpiece that is being manifested on my canvas, however, Our Lord does and His opinion is all that truly matters. Once I make His opinion a priority then my own Masterpiece will start to make sense to me too! So no worries, we are all in this Jigsaw puzzle of life trying to see the picture. Comfort comes in when we close our eyes and let the Lord guide our hands. Well....I am learning that anyways!

"Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions."

 - Psalms 119:18

Happy Sunday lovies!!!