Ladies, I think we can all honestly say that we know when we are in a relationship that is doomed to begin with. Now whether we decide to go with that gut feeling is a totally different blog post topic but ultimately, in the back of our minds we know what's not going to work out.
When I was single, I knew that I would automatically be labeled as the "wifey" type. A categorization that is meant to be the highest level of ambition for a young lady such as myself. When I was younger, I use to feel so honored to be labeled as the wifey type. That meant that I wasn't just seen as a whore, or a "Felicia" but instead I had some degree of respect from other guys. They knew that I was serious about who I dated.
Now this is all fine a well, but as I got older, I started to see the fuzzy, blurred line in this label. Being labeled as a wifey also meant that who ever I was dating at that time automatically thought that I was ultimately meant to be the "wifey" for them.
I mean, every single guy I was trying to get to know went straight to the alter and I just was not ready for all that seriousness. They took a sense of authority and obligation over me and for anyone who knows me, you already know, that was such a huge, uncomfortable no-no for me. Don't claim me, if I am not yours. It's that simple.
Well there is also another way to see this as well. As I thought deeper about this "honor" I then began to think of this from a guy's point of view. Guys don't know what kind of drama they are allowing in their lives when they mislabel a "moment" as a "wifey". With that commitment comes baggage from former relationships and you have to be ready for all that.
And I get it, when you have been in a lot of rough relationships with scandalous, unrealistic, ridiculous women it is so easy to just let your guard down when you believe you have found the complete package. But oooooh my fellas, that's just where the journey begins lol.
As with women, men must keep their hearts guarded as well because attaching yourself to the wrong person can ultimately make you bitter towards the right woman as well as leave you with court orders, child support receipts, and a lifetime of headaches that no one needs or wants.
So yes, it is always easier to just see a woman who looks like she has it all together and label that idea as a future but when you look deeper into her soul you have to remember a few things. Is she someone you'd want to mother your kids. Does she hold the same values as yourself? Can she love what you love even if she doesn't fully understand why? Is she your road dawwg? lol That's a few things that a "wifey" must check off her list before receiving the label.
A woman must meet the definition of a wifey before she even qualifies for the title.
So to sum up everything plainly, unless she was Divinely shown to you from the Man above. Please oh please, do not label a woman your wifey unless you know for the fact that her presence can not be replaced by anyone else's. Sometimes it's not the fact that the woman you are getting to know isn't wife material, in fact she may very well be BUT every wifey type is not meant to be your wife.
I thought about all the men in my past who have given me that label and man, if I was meant to be every single one of their wives I'd probably qualify for my own reality show. At the end of the day, just like every trend is not meant to be your "thing", every woman is not meant to be your wife.
And know, if that woman wasn't meant for you in the first place then you are not missing out on anything. Desperation is such a tricky little beast. It will have you believing a complete lie to fulfill your inner most desires. But it is okay, you are not alone! These are things God already knows and so let that peace tame that desperation to hand out titles that she may or may not deserve.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." - Proverbs 31:25
So breath fellas....she's out there. And when you meet you her, your soul will know ;)
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