Anywho, if the Lord says the same, I will start consistently posting every Sunday - reminiscing on a key topic or topics regarding the week before. It gives me material to work with, which is one reason why I have not been posting as consistently as I should. Eeeeh writer's block can really take someone who loves to write out of commission. It's a pain, but I AM BACCK LOVIES so leggo!
One thing I have been doing a lot post graduation is thinking about my future or at least the future I would like to build. I have never thought of my career, marriage, kids, where I want to live., FINANCES.....I have never thought of that so much as I have now. I guess it is because I am at a new point in my life where I somewhat should. Although all those thoughts are exciting, the reality of it all can be overwhelming & almost depressing (if you look at the news - such a bad habit of mine...sarcasm lol). It is a lot that you have to take in account, if you haven't already, after graduation.
Within these last 8 months however, I have also been taking notes on myself. Well I don't know if I was doing this on purpose or not but I do know that God has been bringing a lot of things to my attention that I need to check to achieve the future I'd like. And let me tell, it rarely has to do with anyone else in my life...I MEAN 99.9999% of the time, random little things that come to my attention are things Mahalia needs to polish off on.
When I pray, I come to God all the time with how I see a different type of future for myself and family. A future that will give those around me hope that the cycle that currently takes place with us does not have to remain -- that chains can be broken, it's not just a song, IT'S AN OPTION. I strongly believe that.
All that sounds great right? Sounds life changing AMAH-AAAAAAZZZZIIINNNNGGGGG, no? It sounds perfect but what He has brought to my attention is how much that would require change within me. Unfortunately, like all of us, I am not a blank canvas. I have years of good and bad habits, I have years of success and mishaps that have molded me into who I am. Therefore, it's not so much about creating a new masterpiece within our lives now. It is about taking the colors we already have on our canvas and finding the masterpiece that is already there. So how do you do that?
Finding the masterpiece within my life requires me to actually get to know Who the Master really is. And let me tell you, that is not always as simple as it sounds. Not because getting to know Him or our Savior Jesus Christ --- is hard but because of the fact that we have so many things in our lives that (in our eyes) are just as important. I can speak about this because I am in the midst of it all.
Getting to know our Master is actually quite simple. It doesn't require expensive material to buy or making reservations for a plane ticket or a hotel room. It just requires time and the craziest thing is that even that seems to evaporate out of our hands too quickly. So, what I have been doing is taking a different approach and gaining a little guidance. I have been reading this book called, " The Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian (i'll post a picture a little later) and it has actually been helping me organize my canvas. Reading this book has brought to my attention how much I don't pray as I should. I don't mean like, "Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul to keep..." type of prayer I mean speaking to the Lord in His language type of prayer....reading His Scriptures back to Him. Trust me when I say I am learning that there is a HUGE difference.
It's so crazy, while I have been doing all this deep thinking...and praying...and wondering, all of my answers go back to getting to know the Lord on a deeper level. And I guess when you are walking into a new, different journey that is definitely when you need to know Him the most. I know for a fact that I am no saint and if all of my thoughts were displayed on a Big Screen I would definitely be searching for my closet or my Hiding Place lololol. So it's always good to never forget how much we all are a work in progress and how much we all need Him to save the day EVERYDAY.
I am so humbled when I think about my own filthy, sad, conceited ways and how He still loves me anyways. It gives me strength to understand that everyone may not always understand the Masterpiece that is being manifested on my canvas, however, Our Lord does and His opinion is all that truly matters. Once I make His opinion a priority then my own Masterpiece will start to make sense to me too! So no worries, we are all in this Jigsaw puzzle of life trying to see the picture. Comfort comes in when we close our eyes and let the Lord guide our hands. Well....I am learning that anyways!
"Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions."
- Psalms 119:18
Happy Sunday lovies!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment